How a Habit is Formed

At its core, habit formation is rooted in a simple reward-based learning loop that reinforces the habit - a cycle that connects what you experience, what you do, and what you get from it.

Example: You feel stressed (stimulus) → You eat junk food (behavior) → You experience temporary relief (reward)

The "habit loop" is driven by regions of the brain that help us adapt quickly and form habits with minimal effort. These brain regions are great at picking up patterns, connecting actions to outcomes, and locking in behaviors that lead to beneficial results.

For our ancestors, quickly forming habits helped them adapt, find food, and avoid danger.

But in today’s modern world, those same brain processes can end up reinforcing habits that are unhelpful (or even harmful) if you are not paying attention.

When you are rewarded for certain behaviors within a habit loop, you are more likely to repeat those behaviors automatically when the same situation or stimulus arises. This reinforcement, known as classical conditioning, strengthens the habit, thus increasing the chances you keep repeating the behavior over time.

Step 1: Exploring the Stimulus in a Habit Loop

Have you ever caught yourself doing something out of habit and wondered, “Why did I just do that?” 

Every habit starts with a stimulus, a signal or catalyst that puts things in motion. It might be something obvious, like your phone buzzing, or something subtle, like feeling lonely or just walking into a certain room. Most of the time, you may not even notice the stimuli, and they just quietly set the loop in motion.

Whether a habit is nourishing, depleting, or neutral, try getting curious: What tends to happen right before you slip into the habit? You might be surprised by what you find.

Here are common sources of stimuli:

• Emotions: e.g., stress, excitement, boredom, joy

• Physical Sensations: e.g., tension, fatigue, hunger, ease, an itch

• Thoughts: e.g., "I deserve this", "I've had a long day", "I am proud of myself", “I’m good/not good at this”

• External Environment: e.g., level (loud-quite) or type of sound (pleasant-unpleasant) , meetings at work, clean or messy room, nature, many things going “wrong” or “right” in a row, temperature indoors/outdoors, weather

• People: e.g., your boss, a friend, a parent, pet, stranger, groups of people

To deepen your awareness, try asking yourself questions about a habit you notice:

• What caused that reaction in me?

• What was happening internally just before I did that?

• What thoughts were running through my mind?

• Was I trying to avoid something?

• Was I trying to soothe something?

• Where was I?

• Who was I with?

• What time was it?

• What had just happened?

• Was this part of my routine?

• Was it pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral?

Noticing a stimulus may not always be obvious, so it might also be helpful to start with Step 2 when exploring the Habit Loop.

Step 2: Exploring Behaviors in a Habit Loop

Behaviors are the actions you take in response to a stimulus. They are the expressions of our habits, and some are conscious and deliberate, like brushing the teeth, while others are automatic, like biting your nails when nervous or avoiding a difficult conversation.

Typically, behaviors are what you can see, sense, and feel, making them the easiest part of the habit loop to identify. They are also often the very part of the habit loop you are trying to change.

Behaviors are shaped and reinforced by the interaction between the stimulus that prompts them and the reward that follows. The more a behavior is rewarded, whether through positive feelings, relief from discomfort, or other forms of reinforcement, the stronger, more ingrained and automatic it becomes over time.

But before trying to change anything, the invitation is to simply observe the habitual behavior.

For example, your habit might involve one of a few of the following behaviors:

• Reaching for a snack when you’re not hungry

• Mindlessly scrolling on social media throughout the day

• Making lists to organize thoughts

• Overworking when you feel inadequate or “not enough”

• Avoiding or seeking out confrontation

• Procrastinating a task that feels overwhelming or you don’t know where to start

• Taking deep breaths when you notice anxiety

• Exercising in the morning

• Complaining about a person or event

Giving yourself full permission to engage in and explore a habit of your choice, the invitation is to simply observe the behavior through a kind, curious, and non-judgmental lens of awareness:

• Paying attention to what you notice before, during, and after engaging with the behavior

• Knowing that the intention of this exercise is to explore the habit, rather than trying to change or stop it

• Using this as an opportunity to better understand the habit and yourself, not to control it through willpower

• Remembering to have self-compassion - you’re likely not the only person with this habit

Step 3: Exploring Rewards in a Habit Loop

Rewards are what make habits stick. They are the outcomes or effects that follow a behavior that tell the brain, “Yes, do that again.” They can be immediate or delayed, physical or emotional, external or internal, and are crucial in shaping and sustaining our habits.

Some rewards are obvious, like the pleasure of eating chocolate or something you enjoy. Others are subtle or unconscious, like feeling safe by avoiding a hard conversation. Over time, these rewards strengthen the association between stimulus and behavior, reinforcing the habit loop. The more consistently a behavior leads to a rewarding experience, the more automatic that behavior becomes.

The “Good” in “Bad” Habits

Those pesky “bad” habits stick around because they provide an often unconscious, yet real and immediate benefit.

• Scrolling on social media when bored → reward: distraction from boredom

• Having a drink after work → reward: relief

• Avoiding or procrastinating a task → reward: escape from discomfort

While regret or other feelings might come later, the brain has already learned “This works in the moment.”

That’s why willpower alone often isn’t enough to break a habit. The brain’s already learned it can shortcut discomfort by seeking quick relief through certain behaviors. The habit loop is stronger than conscious intention.

Exploring the Rewards Behind a Habit

Choosing one habit you would like to explore and consciously engaging with it, can you begin to identify any rewards/benefits you might be receiving from this habit?

Rewards may show up in different forms:

• Emotional: e.g., relief, comfort, pleasure, control, joy, pride

• Physical: e.g., sense of calm, ease, warmth, exhilaration, energy

• Environmental: e.g., appreciation, praise or support from others, sense of belonging

As you investigate the reward, perhaps exploring:

• What am I getting out of this behavior? E.g., relief, pleasure, belonging, energy? 

• How do I feel while I directly engage in the habit? Right after I participate in it? How do I feel a few hours later? A day later?

• What are the benefits? Are there any other consequences?

• Is the reward emotional, physical, internal or external, or a mix?

• Is the reward immediate? Is the reward delayed? Both?

• Does it help me in the long term, or only in the moment?

Some rewards can be subtle and can take time to notice. Inviting you to approach this exploration with patience and non-judgmental curiosity.

Bringing It All Together: Science and Practice of Habit Change

Understanding the stimulus, behavior, and reward behind your habits creates space for choice. You can begin to see the loop more clearly, and that awareness is the start what makes lasting change possible.

By intentionally paying attention through a kind and curious lens of of awareness (mindfulness), you can start to choose which habits you feed and which you starve.

If you are curious to go deeper into the Science and Practice of Habit Change, we invite you to join our 8-week course based on the innovative work of Dr. Judson Brewer. Together, we will explore practical tools, gentle awareness practices, and evidence-based strategies to help you understand your habits and reshape them with greater ease and compassion.

Learn more about the course "Science and Practice of Habit Change"