Thanksgiving: Embracing the Fullness of History and Heart

"True reconciliation is never cheap, for it is based on forgiveness which is costly. Forgiveness … depends on an acknowledgment of what was done wrong, and therefore on disclosure of the truth. You cannot forgive what you do not know."
~Desmond Tutu

In the United States, Thanksgiving is celebrated on the fourth Thursday of November each year. It is a holiday steeped in history, ritual, reflection, and pain. For many, it is a time to gather with loved ones, share a meal, and express gratitude. Yet, alongside the warmth and conviviality lies a history that is complex and often painful—the reality of colonization, genocide, and suffering of Indigenous peoples. 

Even if you do not live in the U.S. or celebrate Thanksgiving, you may recognize this story. Around the world, many holidays and national traditions carry both joy and painful truths—whether tied to land, identity, conquest, independence, or colonization. Most celebrations are both beautiful and complex, weaving together pleasure and tragedy.

Acknowledging Multiple Perspectives

It’s important to recognize that Thanksgiving is experienced differently by different people. 

Some may worry that reflecting on historical injustices during a holiday can overshadow celebration or make gatherings tense. They may ask: “Why can’t we just enjoy Thanksgiving for what it is today, without revisiting the past?”

Others note that the common Thanksgiving story, focusing on gratitude and family, often ignores the pain of Indigenous communities and paints a false and romanticized narrative. We are told the ancestors of Native peoples extended generosity to settlers. While the accuracy of this remains unclear, what is certain is that millions of Indigenous peoples were met with displacement, devastation, and systematic cultural erasure. Ignoring this reality perpetuates invisibility and minimizes historical truth.

Both perspectives are valid: the first reminds us not to let reflection overshadow present joy, while the second reminds us not to let joy erase historical truth. 

So how can we honor both the joy of today and the truth of yesterday without being paralyzed by guilt, carrying resentment, or caught in denial?

Our Invitation this Year: Embracing Non-Duality

The concept of non-duality may offer a gentle, liberating perspective. Non-duality reminds us that two seemingly opposing realities can coexist. By practicing non-duality, we can begin acknowledging the weight of history while also participating in traditions that have new context now. We can sit with grief and appreciation at the same time. We can be aware of injustice without allowing shame to consume us.

In order to do this, it’s essential to hold the perspective of those who were wronged—the people and communities who experienced pain, loss, violence, and immense injustice. Their reality cannot be erased or rewritten. Their history is not merely a footnote and is theirs to tell; it’s woven into the land we stand on, the holidays we celebrate, and the lives we live. The many privileges we may enjoy today are built upon the suffering, displacement, and genocide of Indigenous peoples.

So the question becomes: How do we move forward in a way that honors this difficult reality, without becoming stuck in guilt, consumed with resentment, or turning away from truth altogether? How do we allow the truth to guide us, without letting it harden into despair? 

Until humans have the power to travel back in time, it is impossible to rewrite history. Therefore, we invite you to meet this dual reality of being with the past and present with intentional awareness and compassionate choices. When we pause and acknowledge the truth in this way—fully, respectfully, and without defensiveness—we stop resisting reality. And when we stop resisting reality, we often begin to soften. We can become more receptive to learning, empathy, and meaningful change. We can act with integrity in the present while wishing for a different past.

Avoidance can prolong pain. Resentment binds us to suffering. And guilt keeps us frozen. Awareness paired with compassionate action, however, invites opportunities for forward movement, healing, and transformation. It invites us to support Indigenous voices, uplift accurate historical narratives, listen rather than explain, and practice gratitude in a way that includes—not erases—the people whose land and traditions shaped where we stand today.

When we allow the truth of past and present to coexist, we do not diminish either one—we deepen both. We honor history, and we fully embrace the present. This perspective allows joy and sorrow, gratitude and grief, acknowledgment and celebration to inhabit the same space.

Practicing Mindfulness and Reflection

As Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us, “For things to reveal themselves to us, we need to be ready to abandon our views about them.” To truly sit with the complexities of Thanksgiving, we do not need to choose only joy or only sorrow. We can allow multiple emotions to coexist, letting the truth of history and the warmth of today’s gathering inform one another.

In practice, this might look like savoring the laughter at your Thanksgiving table while holding space for remembrance and mourning. It might mean saying a land acknowledgment before dinner, or simply pausing to honor the Indigenous peoples whose traditions and land are part of the meal you share, including the lives that have been lost. It also invites reflection on what Thanksgiving means to you today—perhaps considering how far we’ve come and the progress made, rather than focusing solely on what hasn’t been done or what is left to do. It means allowing yourself to enjoy the presence of loved ones, the comfort of familiar dishes, and the pleasantness of gathering—without needing the holiday to be free of complexity.

As we honor these non-dual realities of life, we may find ourselves tuning into a new experience—one that includes multiple emotions at once. The purpose of mindfulness is not to create a particular feeling, experience, or reality, but rather to ask: Is it possible to allow whatever is here to be here, as it is? In doing so, we open ourselves to the full spectrum of human experience, letting joy, sorrow, reflection, and connection coexist in the same space.

Embracing the Full Spectrum of Humanity

This approach opens the door to a fuller experience of what it means to be human. Life is not only light or only dark, right or wrong, celebratory or sorrowful—it is all of these at once. When we let ourselves sit with what is, without demanding it be different, we cultivate a kind of spaciousness in our hearts.

This year, whether you’re gathering around the table for Thanksgiving or participating in any other tradition, consider a simple practice: notice what arises within you. Welcoming gratitude, discomfort, tenderness, and truth to sit side by side, knowing that they all belong. In doing so, celebrations—Thanksgiving or otherwise—become more than traditions. They become living practices of compassion, honesty, and the willingness to embrace the full spectrum of human experience.

Ways to be an Ally on Thanksgiving:

• Buy a Native cookbook and try a new dish 

• Learn about the history of the land, the tribes, and the people who lived and still live by you

• Support Native-owned businesses and artists 

• Learn about modern Native perspectives from your region by following a local voice

• Compassionately acknowledge the privileges you may enjoy today that are built upon the suffering, displacement, and genocide of Indigenous peoples